The wacky world of crazy car names
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Car names have always been an area where certain manufacturers just do it better than others. The very first cars tended to be rather unimaginative, bearing the names of their creators or perhaps a number denoting their meager outputs.
Things livened up at the turn of the 20th century with names like Silver Ghost and later the Traction Avant entering the fray, but the majority were still generic sounding things like Model A or Type 35. Some have stuck to alphanumeric model names while more adventurous companies ventured out and gave their cars far more descriptive names, although not always with great success.
Some model names have been with us for so long that we have come to accept them despite their quirkiness, these are the ones we will start off with first on our list.
Then there are the plain silly ones, where you know that the marketing team weren’t even trying. Finally, we have the crazy foreign translations that make little sense outside of their home country.
Yet despite some really unfortunate names, some of these cars have sold extremely well. So, let us introduce you to the wacky world of crazy car names.
Honda Jazz
You probably saw one on your way to work this very day, a small innocuous car that has about as much to do with Jazz music as a bag of potatoes, yet Honda thought it would be a good idea to name it just that.
The Brio, Fit and Amaze are just a few more gems that we have come to accept from this Japanese manufacturer, at least they are much better at building cars.
Ford Escort
The first Escort arrived in 1968 and you would think surely someone, somewhere in all of the board meetings leading up to its unveiling would have pointed out that this was perhaps not the best idea for a family car.
The name continued to be used until 2004 when it was finally replaced by the Focus.
Ford Probe
This one is a shoo in on most lists of this type, how this name got past the design stage requires some more probing.
Weak puns aside, Ford did build a series of Probe named concept vehicles in the ‘70s and must have decided that the name was perfect for this Mazda-based 3-door liftback.
Daihatsu Charade
The word ‘Charade’ is defined as ‘an absurd pretence intended to create a pleasant or respectable appearance’. Synonyms include farce, mockery and pretence.
Now you tell me whether this was a good name for Daihatsu’s compact family car. It lasted four generations, remained in production for 23 years and millions were sold globally, imagine how it would have done had it been given a decent name.
AMC Gremlin
Naming your new model a Gremlin is surely a good way to torpedo sales before they begin.
Despite being named after a mischievous sprite responsible for unexplained mechanical and electrical faults, the AMC Gremlin sold pretty well in the US and is now even considered something of a collectors’ item.
Nissan Stagea
The first generation Stagea was essentially an estate version of the iconic Skyline R33/34 sports cars and offered serious power in a very unassuming bodyshell.
Calling it the Skyline Estate would have been all to simple so it got stuck with the made up Stagea.
Toyota Wish
This MPV was sold only in a few markets outside of Japan and while it was a perfectly decent family van, it is uncertain what the Wish model name referred to.
With 7-seats to fill, perhaps it was the parents wishing each trip would end before the kids in the back drove them crazy.
Proton Savvy
The Proton Savvy 5-door hatch definitely was not something a shrewd or astute motorist would purchase.
It had no unique features to distinguish it from the sea of more and so it proved as a short production run lasting from 2005 to 2011 was down to the poor sales figures.
Proton Impian
Then again, the Savvy could have had an even more ridiculous name. Like say Impian, the name of Proton’s 4-door saloon sold in the UK.
But wait, there’s more, they also sold a hatch in the ‘90s called the Tiara. Difficult to pick from these pearls so let’s move on to some even crazier choices.
Hyundai Grandeur
We now take a look at models given names that were perhaps a bit too grand for their own good. Case in point, the aspirational Hyundai Grandeur luxury saloon.
The first two generations were based on the equally loftily titled Mitsubishi Debonair, thankfully later generations are named the Azera in most markets.
Fiat Bravo
This little Fiat Bravo hatchback is a bit too self-congratulatory for its own good, they actually turned out to be rather decent little cars.
Perhaps a slightly more modest name like ‘Not half bad’ or ‘Bit of alright’ would have endeared them more to UK buyers.
Toyota Starlet
Starlet was quite an unlikely title for a tiny little hatchback that had very little to recommend it other than a cheap price and low running costs.
The last three generations did include a peppy little turbocharged model which did arguably aspire to be a mini hot hatch.
Skoda Rapid
The Skoda Rapid may be a perfectly decent entry-level family car but with a 1.0-litre 110bhp engine, Rapid it is not.
The misnomer must surely confuse buyers, especially ones that get worked up about the even more excitingly named Rapid Sport.
Ferrari does a similar thing with their 812 Superfast but in that case, it is a statement of fact rather than a hopeful marketing tactic.
Nissan President
Going for the title, Nissan decided to just name their top most luxurious model the President.
It is unclear how many actual presidents rode in these cars but they were designed to be used by executives and government officials.
Sold mainly in Japan, the President presided over the rest of the Nissan range from 1965 right up until 2010.
Peugeot Bipper Tepee
Up until this point most of the car names have been more or less something you could repeat in polite company and not have people rolling on the floor laughing. The rest on our list may not guarantee the same result.
Our first is the Peugeot Bipper Tepee. Why it needed such a ridiculous name is unclear as it was essentially a badge engineered Fiat Fiorino commercial van, Citroen also built one but theirs was named the far more normal sounding Nemo.
Renault Wind
The Clio, Megane and Scenic are all fairly innocuous names that have become entrenched in modern car culture, it is quite likely though that few people have heard of the tiny little Renault Wind.
This flatulently named little two-seater convertible was sold in the UK between 2010 and 2012 and featured a one-piece metal roof.
Despite its funny name it was actually the perfect little convertible city car to go parping about in.
Isuzu GIGA Light Dump
This one is more truck than car but we couldn’t leave out something named the GIGA Light Dump.
These are actually heavy-duty trucks so the name is a bit of a misnomer anyway. We chose a suitably ridiculously modified GIGA to go with the name.
Mitsubishi Mini Active Urban Sandal
This ‘80s concept was meant to be the ultimate city car, it never made it into production which is a shame as seeing one would definitely have added some merriment to one’s morning commute.
The name seemed like the result of a board meeting where employees threw darts at a board filled with random words that described the car.
Except for sandal, that remains a mystery, quite like our next entrant.
Isuzu Mysterious Utility Wizard
The Isuzu Mysterious Utility Wizard was a mid-sized SUV sold in Japan that UK residents may recognize as the Vauxhall Frontera.
Only 5-door models got the honour of the Wizard suffix, the 3-door models apparently offered only a more basic level of Mysterious Utility.
Mazda Bongo Friendee
Neither Bongo nor Friendee are real words in the English language but they are close enough to conjure up all sorts of Woodstock festival style mental images.
This model was available to UK car buyers too, undoubtedly many were bought just for their names.
Tang Hua Detroit Fish
Tang Hua is a Chinese car manufacturer who make some of the wackiest concept cars around.
The Detroit Fish is an amphibious bubble-shaped vehicle which made something of a splash at the 2008 Detroit Auto Show.
Tang Hua Book of Songs
Liked the Detroit Fish? Well take a look at the oddly shaped Tang Hua Book of Songs, despite the very specific title it is not a book but an electric concept car that was displayed at the same Auto Show as the Detroit Fish.
Geely PU Rural Nanny
Geely is a big-time automotive manufacturer and even owns Swedish car maker Volvo. In the past though it was responsible for some of the wackiest car names around and we end our list with one of the best.
It is the PU Rural Nanny, this 2-door pickup was also available as the Urban Nanny. You could also buy Geely Beauty Leopard and China Dragon coupes if the Nanny variants were not to your liking.