The worst cars we really hope you didn’t buy in 2017
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It is often said that no one really makes a bad car these days. If only it were so, clearly whoever keeps repeating this has not seen some of the cars in our worst of 2017 list.
Sure, modern cars tend not to rust and leak like their forebears but we still have to deal with horrible interiors, terrible handling and just plain pointless vehicles on a regular basis. To weed out the perpetrators we have selected the worst offenders of 2017 so that you may be spared the agony of ownership. If you have already bought one then there is not much we can do for you.
In truth, a few of these cars are not completely and utterly awful but if they compete in an overachieving segment where everything else is head-and-shoulders better, then they make our list.
This is my personal view, so since we are being ruthless, even minor infractions are grounds for entry, and, in true dictatorial form our decision is final. So without further ado, let the naming and shaming begin.
Aston Martin V8 Vantage
Patriots and fans of old-school muscle will be appalled at the inclusion of such a characterful sports car in our list.
Well, this car has been around since 2005, an absolute age in automotive terms, and while it still looks stunning the performance and refinement levels are miles behind the competition.
The good news is that its replacement has just been announced, well good news that is unless you happened to buy the current model this year.
Fiat 500L
Fiat were so pleased with the success of their retro-styled Fiat 500 compact hatchback that they have seemingly decided to make every other model in their range a variation of that design.
The puffed-up crossover 500L looks like a standard 500 was left in the oven too long, Fiat’s own 500X at least makes the most of the small city car theme but the 500L (take a look at the gawky Wagon in particular) is just a retro-styled theme gone a step too far.
Alfa Romeo 4C
Yes, it looks good. Yes, it is fast. Yes, it handles better than most things on four wheels.
But that is where the good news ends because it is loud, uncomfortable, too wide for the tight winding roads it was built for and at £50,000, very expensive.
If you only plan to use it at track days then by all means, get one. Otherwise buy an Alfa Giulia Quadrifoglio instead.
BMW 2-Series Active Tourer
The 2-series Active Tourer is a prime example of how diluted a brand can get before actually becoming transparent.
The constantly expanding BMW range sometimes offers up an interesting model that fits a specific need but there are plenty of other vehicles in the range that do a better job of transporting four or five people and none of them look like an awkward Renault Scenic.
Base models are even front-wheel drive for goodness sake.
BMW 6-Series GT
This hatchback abomination is now in its second generation (the first was the horrendous 5-Series GT) which must mean that some of you are willing to part with your hard-earned money for them.
Please stop.
The visual atrocities committed here just do not make up for the practicality benefits of that redesigned rear end.
Get a 5-series estate if you need the space.
Land Rover Discovery
The old Discovery was a massive Lego-shaped lump, not particularly quick but it was massive and comfortable with a likeable character.
The latest version however now just looks like a slightly smaller Range Rover, which wouldn’t be a deal-breaker if it weren’t for that lop-sided number plate on the tailgate.
For that reason alone, we would just get a nice used 2016 Disco.
Mercedes-Benz CLA
This hard-riding banana shaped saloon manages to offer four doors but very little interior space and is under-powered as the base 120 bhp CLA180.
Yes the nutty 375 bhp CLA 45 does remedy that but the hard ride will have you at the chiropractor before long.
Don’t be fooled by this pic, we just found a very flattering one, in real life they look like much more like a worn bar of soap.
Renault Twingo
The Twingo seems to cover all the bases at first glance, peppy little engine, rear-wheel drive and cute looks.
The package though just fails to convince, the motor is stuck in the rear which is less practical than you may think and it is too noisy and unrefined compared to some very accomplished competitors.
Mitsubishi Mirage
Remember those cool Mitsubishi Evos that used to tear up rally stages and send sports cars running scared with their powerful turbocharged engines?
Well you can forget all about that when it comes to the underpowered little Mirage, one drive in this thing and you will wonder how they could have built such a terribly handling car when they must have had the blueprints for the Evo sitting on a pile right there on the table.
Positives?
You can laugh at the name and come up with funny puns if that’s your thing. Just pick any number of solid city cars instead.
Subaru Impreza
Mitsubishi is not the only one to have fallen from grace, Subaru’s base Impreza models seem intent to kick their rallying heritage in the teeth with a sluggish 1.6-litre engine and a moany CVT gearbox combination.
Fans will point at the WRX but this once dominant machine too has been overshadowed by the latest Focus RS and Golf R in key performance areas.
A sad state of affairs but there you have it.
Mercedes AMG G-Class
Fans of rugged off-road vehicles must have been pleased when Mercedes-Benz released the first 109 bhp Gelandewagen back in 1979, this German Land Rover equivalent was perfect for slogging up a muddy mountain pass and had understandably dire on-road driving characteristics.
Fast forward 38 years and now you can have basically the same car with a 604 bhp 6.0-litre twin-turbo V12, ultra-low-profile wheels and leather seats.
Prices are as ludicrous as the car.
Mercedes-Maybach G 650 Landaulet
But wait, there’s more.
For 2017 there is now a limited-edition G 650 Landaulet variant which offers an elongated wheelbase, uprated 630 bhp V12 and added fripperies for 99 ‘discerning’ customers.
Smart fortwo BRABUS
Don’t have the sort of cash required to get behind the wobbly steering wheel of the G-Class?
No problem, Mercedes does this sort of lunacy in its smallest models too.
The Smart fortwo BRABUS is a little city car that is made unnecessarily expensive and uncomfortable in the same fashion as its bigger brother and many BRABUS badges stuck to the bodywork will let others know what you have done.
Bentley Bentayga Diesel
The petrol-powered Bentayga offers 600 bhp, the fastest top speed of any SUV and the kind of interior luxuries that include an optional clock costing as much as the car itself.
Sure, the ugly stick came out and gave it a good beating but it is an impressive engineering feat nonetheless.
So why then would anyone who has this sort of money be interested in a slower, only slightly more fuel-efficient diesel version?