Why do car manufacturers try so hard to confuse buyers?
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Modern Car Badge Designation Confusion
Buying a new car today can be a harrowing affair for those not fully versed in the myriad engine configurations, body styles, safety features and luxury items that are on offer.
Who but the devoted car bore wants to wade through pages of acronyms and confusing technical explanations of their potential purchase?
Add to that the nigh on indecipherable makes and model numbers invented by the engineering team and further convoluted by the marketing department, and most shoppers would rather just avoid the whole issue and take the bus to work.
This sorry state of affairs is not going to get any better and as every manufacturer adds niche models and hybrid powertrains into the mix we have decided that action has to be taken.
In an attempt to provide the hapless shopper with a fighting chance against this growing menace we take a look at some of the worst offenders and attempt to decipher this alphabet soup of madness in the process.
BMW
BMW used to be a paragon of logical model designations and as recently as 1999 offered a perfectly adequate 6 models in its range.
Three saloons, one SUV, one roadster and a luxury coupe were surely all anyone needed right? Wrong. Fast forward to 2017 and we have well over 25 different models and badges that seem like an upended scrabble board has been stuck on the bootlid.
Whereas a 328i used to mean you were getting a 3-Series with a 2.8-litre engine under the bonnet, it now offers a 2.0-litre turbocharged engine instead.
Surely it should be a 320i then you say, no because the modern-day 320i is also a 2.0-litre turbo but with less power. Clear as mud.
Top Tip: So while the last two digits do not indicate engine capacity anymore the higher the number the more powerful the engine.
X drive models are four-wheel drive while anything with an e at the end is a hybrid. Even numbers tend to refer to two-door models except when they don’t.
Audi
Audi has generally tried to keep things simple for consumers but with an ever-increasing model range they are have decided to add a bit of spice into the mix.
While an A4 is still a saloon and 1.8T actually refers to a 1.8-litre turbocharged engine, Audi have now decided to assign an arbitrary set of numbers to each model which refer to the power output.
Does this number refer to the actual power, no, of course not. That would be too easy, instead they have been randomly chosen by the marketing department for your head-scratching pleasure.
Top Tip: Take a look at our list below to get a better idea of what you will need to ask for at the dealership, other than directions to a competitor.
25- up to 106hp
30- 107hp to 127hp
35- 145hp to 159hp
40- 165hp to 198hp
45- 223hp to 244hp
50- 278hp to 304hp
55- 324hp to 363hp
60- 423hp to 449hp
70- 529hp and above
Mercedes-Benz
The Mercedes range used to be relatively simple with C, E and S models. Sticking a K on the end would generally indicate a coupe or convertible model.
Sure they played with the placement of the letters and changed the SE500 to a 500SE but in general you could be pretty sure that the numbers had something to do with engine capacity and the letters would refer to the body style.
This happy state of affairs surely couldn’t last, what with their German counterparts playing fast and loose with their badging layout, Mercedes decided that they would go one step further and change every single model.
Remember the ML?
Well you can forget it because now it’s a GLE. A C-Class is still the same but thanks to the uber-niche trend there is now also a CLA, CLS and CL to consider.
There is some method to the madness but make sure you are standing in front of the actual Mercedes-Benz model you intend to buy before signing on the dotted line otherwise you may be making 60 monthly payments on a massive 4-door luxury saloon instead of that little roadster you really wanted.
Top Tip: GLA, GLC and GLE derivatives are the new ML models and 4matic means four-wheel drive.
Ford
There was a time when one could look at the boot of a Ford while stuck in traffic and know just about everything about the engine and trim levels it had. If it said 1.3 L you knew the driver was staring at a big clock where the rev-counter should be and would struggle to get out of your way over the next hill.
If the boot badge said 3.0 GLE then fake wood inserts on the doors and a 5-speed gearbox would grace the interior, not to mention that 3.0-litre V6 under the bonnet.
Nowadays you get all sorts of weird and wonderful names such as Vignale, Style and Titanium, not quite as informative as in days gone by.
Top Tip: RS badges are still stuck on fast Fords while small engine capacities don’t necessarily mean a slow car. The 1.0-litre turbocharged Fiesta is a nippy little thing.
Volvo
Volvo has never been one to spend too much time on their badging strategy, they prefer to work on their latest pedestrian safety systems instead.
That is fine if you step in front of one of their cars but it can make for a hair-pulling experience if you actually attempt to buy one.
Things have improved lately with their alphanumeric system making it relatively easy to figure out which is which, a larger number at the end usually indicates a larger model.
Top Tip: Twin Engine means a hybrid powertrain, S refers to saloons, V to estates and hatchbacks and XC to SUVs and crossovers.
Infiniti
Infiniti may not have a big foothold in the UK car market, this may be due to the fact that they have decided to name everything from their small hatchback to their largest luxury saloon a Q something or other.
Are you looking for a medium-sized saloon, well then the Q50 is your car. If you prefer a coupe then it will have to be the Q60. Add ten numbers to that and you get a big saloon.
Thankfully the range is small enough not to require too much deciphering and little badges behind the front arches tell you what type of engine they come with.
Top Tip: If there is an X in the name it is an SUV.
Ferrari
In the rarefied air of supercars, model badges tend to contain evocative words to convey their power and speed potential.
Lamborghini has been naming its cars after bulls for decades and usually you get a little inscription down the sides saying LP640 or LP700, which refers to the position of the engine (behind the driver, or Longitudinale Posteriore for fans of Italian) and the horsepower it makes. Simple.
Then you get Ferrari, who like to assign a numbering system that either refers to the cubic capacity of a single cylinder or the total engine capacity and number of cylinders Say what now? So trying to compare numbers is futile as a 456 is actually a 12-cylinder GT car while a 455 is a mid-engined V8.
Also, just to mix it up a bit some cars are named things like Superamerica, LaFerrari (Meaning – The Ferrari) and most recently 812 Superfast.
Top Tip: Make sure that you know your Testarossa from your 250 Testa Rossa before visiting the dealership or the salesman will only have you running across the road to Lamborghini.
Creative Chinese Badge Choices
The Chinese motor manufacturers are not only excellent at copying other designs but they are also the true masters of badge confusion strategies.
Consider the Geely Beauty Leopard or perhaps the equally speedily named Hunghai Faster, an SUV that bears more than just a passing resemblance to a Lexus LX.
Then there is the Great Wall Wingle, a pickup with a name you can’t say with a straight face. Sure the Tang Hua Detroit Fish is a catchy title but motorists are left none the wiser to what they are actually buying.
Japanese Naming Nuances
The Japanese may be on another planet compared to the Chinese when it comes to the quality of the cars they produce but they too offer motorists the opportunity to put a smile on people’s faces as they drive by in some of their more creatively named cars.
What is the capacity of the Isuzu Mysterious Utility Wizard you ask? That remains a mystery, as does the reason behind Honda naming their tiny city car the Life Dunk.
The Mitsubishi Lettuce may appeal to vegetarians wishing to advertise their eating habits and the Toyota Deliboy would be equally well suited to small fast food shops but neither is particularly helpful when it comes to information about what is under the bonnet.