1980s vs 2010s – the big unbiased automotive showdown
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There is little doubt that the 1980s was the decade of cool, or is there? Perhaps this view is more commonly held by those who experienced their formative years during this decade but even dissenters would surely succumb to the undeniable charms of Magnum P.I., those massive mobile phones and electronic pop music (well some of it anyway).
So what could the 2010s possibly offer that could even remotely compete with classics like the Super Mario Brothers and the Gremlins?
At first glance you would be forgiven for thinking that this is going to be a walk over for the Miami Vice crowd. Then as the immediate thoughts of the current batch of unsavoury world leaders and general global unrest fades, you may remember that this decade has also given us some pretty cool things like Angry Birds, Gangnam Style, Twitter and the iPhone 7 too. Ok we still have 3 years to go so don’t start laughing just yet.
From an automotive standpoint the 80s really pulled it out the bag, giving us such legendary cars such as the Ferrari Testarossa, F40, and the Porsche 959. Lower down the food chain the first BMW M3 and Peugeot 205 GTI rewrote the rulebook.
The 2010s haven’t been exactly idle either, the rise of McLaren as a supercar superpower and the release of the Bugatti Chiron are particular high points. Let’s not forget about the possibly the best Porsche 911 of all time, the 911R. Now that looks much more promising.
We have selected a wide range of categories so let’s compare everybody’s favourite rose-tinted decade with our current one, automotively speaking this could be a tough battle after all…
Fastest Car Challenger 1980s
The very fastest car of the 80s was the stripped-out roadgoing racer, the Ferrari F40: it could do 201mph.
This seems like a very specific number but it needed to be as the more luxurious Porsche 959 released a year earlier could get to 199mph.
2mph matters here so it is therefore our fastest car entrant.
Fastest Car Challenger 2010s
The Bugatti Chiron wades into battle with quad turbos, 8-litres, 16-cylinders and all sorts of electronic trickery.
It takes those numbers, chews them up and spits them out well before breakfast.
You would need 3 F40s to match its 1500bhp output and a rocket stuck on the back of one to come anywhere near its limited (because of the tyres) 261mph top speed.
Fastest Car Winner
It can empty its massive fuel tank in under 9 minutes at top speed too.
That seems rather wasteful in today’s environmentally sensitive age.
Plus it needs an additional 1050bhp to go a mere 60mph faster.
So in the final reckoning the comparatively eco-friendly F40 wins this challenge. That cool rear wing also played in its favour too.
1980s:1
2010s: A big fat 0
Best Hatchback Challenger 1980s
The Peugeot 205 GTI is the undeniable 80s cool hot hatch, it is fast, light and still looks the business.
Mint examples have been fetching record prices at auctions too. So we send it in to do battle with the best that the 2010s can offer…
Best Hatchback Challenger 2010s
Enter the Megane RS 275 Trophy-R.
The little Pug has no chance in the power stakes here as 275bhp pummels 115bhp, but sadly it even loses out in driver thrills and engagement as the Renaultsport Megane is truly one of the greats.
Best Hatchback Winner
So that means score one for the 2010s, right?
No. From within its own camp the Renault Maxi 5 Turbo comes out from nowhere and steals the Megane RS’s victory.
This little turbocharged rocketship made 160bhp from its tiny 1.4-litre engine and the outrageous body kit alone would have won this contest.
Phew, that was a close one. So in our totally unbiased analysis the points tally is as follows:
1980s: 2
2010s: Another 0
Most outrageously styled car 1980s
The Lamborghini Countach may have been released in the 70s but it took the excess of the 80s to add the many aero appendages that made this hairy performance machine worthy of being stuck to your bedroom wall.
A cool front wing could also be specified, watch the opening credits of the Cannonball Run to refresh your memory.
Most outrageously styled car 2010s
What can possibly compete with this kind of over-the-top 80s exuberance?
A Pagani Huayra you say. Well it does have those electronically controlled aerodynamic aids which are kind of cool, and some owners add their own ‘style’ with bespoke paint jobs with gold flecks and Swarovski crystals embedded in the body work.
Now that would make it the winner.
Most Outrageously styled car winner
Unless.
Yes, we will paint a Lamborghini Countach LP5000 QV in the very same paint scheme. So the 80s win again.
1980s: 3
2010s: still 0
Most Desirable Supercar 1980s
The Ferrari Testarossa, F40 and Lamborghini Countach LP5000 QV were high profile 80s supercars but the updated Lotus Esprit Turbo, Italian designed BMW M1 and hairy 430bhp Aston Martin V8 Vantage were right up there too.
It took real commitment to get the best out of these powerful beasts, manual gearboxes and zero electronic aids were the order of the day.
That is all except for one. The Porsche 959.
It was the first to feature advanced technology that was to trickle down to everything else in the years to come.
A true masterpiece.
Most Desirable Supercar 2010s
The development of new-age hybrid hypercars and massive strides in internal combustion engine efficiency mean that the 2010s have seen the likes of such instant greats such as the McLaren P1, La Ferrari and Porsche 918 decimate all before them.
More mainstream supercars such as the Ferrari 488, Lamborghini Aventador and McLaren 720S are still light years ahead of any 1980s offerings in any performance category you could care to mention.
We pick the Lexus LFA to represent this talented bunch as its combination of 550bhp 4.8-Litre V10 and superb chassis make it one of the most intoxicating things on four wheels.
Most desirable supercar winner
Surely a win for the LFA then?
Well not exactly, we call it a draw at best.
Why?
Well the Porsche was originally designed to compete in the ill-fated Group B and when that didn’t happen, went on to dominate on the rally scene anyway.
Not something you could claim of any modern supercar.
Also a Porsche isn’t just a really expensive Toyota.
Our decision is final.
1980s: 4
2010s: still 0 but now with 1 draw
Best Racing Car 1980s
Whether we look at the crazy 1500bhp turbocharged Formula 1 cars or the certifiable Group B rally machines, the 80s was truly a golden age for motor racing.
So let’s take the game-changing Audi Quattro UR Group B rally car and see what it is up against.
Best Racing Car 2010s
The 800bhp Audi R10 LeMans racer was the first properly successful diesel race car, it may have been introduced in 2006 but it competed up to 2010, winning almost everything it raced in.
It sure was fuel efficient for a race car too.
Best racing car winner
Did you say a diesel racing car?
Come on, just listen to the manic wail of the off-beat 5-cylinder Quattro as it crests a jump in a forest rally stage and you too will agree that this one is a whitewash for the 80s.
1980s: 5
2010s: 0
Best TV Car 1980s
The choices here are almost endless, we could pick from KITT, the Dukes of Hazzard Dodge Charger, Don Johnson’s white Testarossa or the A-Team van to name but a few.
Let’s pick the time-travelling DeLorean and see what the 2010s could possible come up with.
Best TV Car 2010s
This is a tough one, the production quality of modern TV series’ may have come along in leaps and bounds but few shows feature a car as a central theme so we had to scrape the barrel.
Better Call Saul has a filthy, miscoloured shed called a Suzuki Esteem that Saul Goodman drives around in.
Breaking Bad’s main protagonist, Walter White does no better, he starts off with possibly the ugliest car of all time namely the Pontiac Aztek.
Best TV car winner
Walter does go on to a Chrysler 300 SRT8 later on in the series but the damage is done.
A no contest loss for the 2010s on this one, the DeLorean walks it at a steady 88mph.
1980s: 6
2010s: 0
Best SUV 1980s
This sneaky category was surely picked by the modern decade lovers, sore after so many humiliating defeats. SUVs were not a thing back in the 80s, they were just UVs.
The Range Rover Classic was just an honest, hard-working family car, not one of these rolling Dorchester lounges you get today.
BMW was still sticking to what it did best, namely 3 types of sports saloons so we have no help from them.
The best we can do is the original Mercedes-Benz Gelandewagen.
Still, it is the unadulterated, uncorrupted early variant. The one that could actually be taken off-road and not just down to the Savoy for lunch like today’s versions.
Best SUV 2010s
The popularity of the SUV has taken off in the past decade to the point where even Maserati and Bentley now have skin in the game.
With a bewildering range of luxurious and powerful options from Mercedes, BMW, Porsche and even Jaguar to choose from surely we can’t go wrong here.
Let’s stick to the ultimate 12 cylinder, 186mph 600bhp Bentley Bentayga to be sure of a comprehensive victory.
Best SUV Winner
So finally, 1 point for the 2010s. Wait, what’s that? The sound of a Lamborghini LM002 coming around the corner, that’s what.
It featured a 5.2-litre 450bhp V12 straight out of the crazy Countach so we probably should have heard it sooner.
Either way, this manic SUV is the granddaddy of them all, dubbed the Rambo Lambo it looked awesome and of course it wins this contest.
1980s: 7
2010s: 0
Final Scores
It was a close fought thing really and it could have gone either way, but after numerous recounts to ensure fairness the 80s takes the win.
After some additional consideration we have decided to give the 1980s that earlier draw too.
It seems that the impeccable taste and visionary engineering prowess of the 1980s wins out over anything that the current decade can throw at it.
Hasta La Vista 2010s.
1980s: 8
2010s: 0